What Not to say to someone you know, or suspect is struggling with infertility #2 “This One Couple I Know…”

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By Kelsey. T. Chun MFT

Giving your friend examples of a couple you knew who tried for three years and then miraculously got pregnant naturally after adopting, or how your parents struggled to conceive and now have five kids, might instill hope in her—but it also might not. For one, these anecdotes imply—that it will happen eventually. (And, unfortunately you can’t assure that, even if it happened for your mom or best friend that way.) Also, such stories might actually feel like a reminder to your friend that seemingly everyone else is able to conceive except her (and every pregnancy or birth announcement she sees on social media can already be overwhelming in this way). Finally, this comment can also be unintentionally invalidating. Instead of acknowledging your friend’s pain, such a comment shifts the conversation from her personal experience to a seemingly irrelevant story.

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