Michelle Buteau Says Her Husband Encouraged Surrogacy After She Was 'So Unhappy' Following IVF

"Surrogacy is not something you go into IVF thinking, 'This is what I'm going to be doing,' " Michelle Buteau says of her ultimately "beautiful" choice

Michelle Buteau is "forever thankful" for her surrogate for helping bring her now-20-month-old twins Hazel and Otis into the world, but it took her a little while to come around to the idea that her road to motherhood might look different than she'd initially envisioned.

In this week's issue of PEOPLE, the actress and comedian reveals that she and husband Gijs van der Most were "at the end of [their] road in terms of" Buteau "trying" to carry a baby, having gone through in vitro fertilization and beginning to see the toll it was taking, both on her mind and body.

"My husband said, 'You know, I want you back. You are so unhappy and just physically wrecked,' " says Buteau, 43.

While "surrogacy is not something you go into IVF thinking, 'This is what I'm going to be doing,' " the Always Be My Maybe actress recognizes that it's "so beautiful that that is even a choice," even though it was "scary."

"I didn't know anyone that did it," Buteau says. "I didn't have anyone to talk to about it. I just researched. I found an agency through my doctor where these women are just walking angels on Earth who find helping someone make their dreams come true the best thing ever."


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